The pause lasted an eternity. “A car crash. It’s serious, ma’am. You should come right away.”
I don’t remember the drive to the hospital. I don’t remember calling my neighbor to watch the kids. I only remember the doctor’s face as he approached me in the waiting room, and how I knew before he even opened his mouth.
“I’m very sorry. We did everything we could,” he said.
My heart felt like it was going to stop beating. Ryan was gone. The only man who had ever truly loved me and loved my children as his own… was gone.
“Can I see him?” My voice sounded far away, like it belonged to someone else.
The doctor nodded, leading me down a hallway that seemed to stretch forever.
Ryan looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping, except for the stillness. No rise and fall of his chest. No fluttering eyelids. Just stillness.
I touched his hand. It was cold.
“You promised,” I whispered, tears falling onto our joined hands. “You promised you wouldn’t leave us.”
The funeral was a blur of black clothes and murmured condolences. Margaret sat in the front row, opposite me and the kids. She didn’t cry. When people approached her, she accepted their hugs with rigid dignity.
Emma clung to my hand, her small fingers squeezing mine whenever a new person approached us. Liam stood straight-backed beside me, trying so hard to be the man of the house already.
After the service, Margaret approached us. Her eyes were red-rimmed but dry, her posture rigid.
“This is your fault,” she said without preamble, her voice low but sharp enough to cut.
I stared at her, not comprehending. “Excuse me?”
“My son is dead because of you. If he hadn’t been rushing home to you and those children, he’d still be alive.”
I froze. The police said Ryan’s accident happened on a stretch of highway nowhere near our house.
“We are his family,” I snapped, my voice trembling as I gestured to the kids. “And he loved us.”
Margaret’s lips thinned. “You trapped him. You know it, and I know it.”
Before I could respond, she walked away, leaving me standing there with my mouth open, her accusation hanging in the air between us like poison.
“Mom?” Liam tugged at my sleeve. “What did Grandma Margaret mean? Was it our fault Daddy died?”
I knelt down quickly, taking his small face in my hands. “No, sweetheart. Absolutely not. What happened to Daddy was a terrible accident, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Grandma Margaret is just very sad and saying things she doesn’t mean.”
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